Bangin’ with Bongo

For quite awhile, I have been privy partially to the behind-the-scenes action of SL’s fashion world of runway shows, cat fights, and the modeling world. I enjoy photography, dig having my picture taken when I’m in the mood, and had harbored a mild curiousity on what it was actually like. Keep in mind, I don’t have an especially high tolerance for bullshit, drama, elitists, name dropping, or anyone who perceives themselves as better than other based on the fact that they sank more cash into their avatar’s appearance. It makes no sense to me. I would watch my beautiful wife, Babyhoney Bailey, as she entered this pageant or that contest, was invited to take part in this runway show, or be interviewed by that magazine. The thing is, she never expected to win anything, since she doesn’t take part in the social politics of star fuckers, sleeping around to get ahead, or kissing anyone’s ass for a gig. That’s part of why I’m so proud of her. She still has the same strong moral core that she had when I talked her into signing up for SL in March of last year. That hasn’t changed and there isn’t a designer, agency, or model that can change that about her either.

Now, I stand here on the threshhold of a different world. On a whim, I submitted a few photos when I saw the MM Skins group notice looking for models. I figured that since Babyhoney would be working a lot for Miss SL Universe related things that it’d be a good idea for me to keep myself busy. I’ve done a little bit of print work, as far as posing for her or friends and back in the day, I posed for the Dirtee Jerzees before Megan Torricelli went psycho, but that’s a whole other story for another day and one I don’t particularly feel like dredging up again. However, I had yet to see more of the backstage of a runway show, other than the time Summer TP’d be backstage during the Miss SL Universe rehearsals when I couldn’t get in on my own. Yeah, that was pretty much as close as I had gotten.

So, I answered the group notice and was working on homework and on the phone with Pinkstarz Destiny (mother of Baby Isaac, who I will talk about later); not really paying attention to the screen at all with my avatar sitting on the ground when I get a TP to go to the Glamworld sim. Imagine my further surprise when I was the only guy there. We were supposed to have Huds and I didn’t know what the hell that was, other than hearing Bho talk about it. Dendre was nice enough to send me one and the instructions were easy to follow, so big up to Dendre for that. I arrive and I think I was outnumber 1:13 girls and clueless as to what I was supposed to do. We were given instructions, then moved to a different location and sent backstage to get arranged in alphabetical order with me walking in front. I had no experience, no Hud at that point, was going through all the poses I had right there, and I was supposed to walk out first. The drill was: walk down to where the MM Exec Ladies were sitting, pose, walk back to the edge of the steps, pose, and walk to the right through the black screen, up some stairs and back to where I’d begun. It seemed easy enough. I have been walking for quite awhile, you know. However, it was a pain in the ass using poses. I’d walk down with my AO, pause, pretty the button for the pose (which means you have to click chat again to move), click chat, walk back, press the button for the pose, press chat, and walk. I did enjoy the attention I got, I have to admit, but who wouldn’t? Seriously. I arrive in back and the ladies are trying to alphabetiza themselves, as someone whos name started with the letter went walking out when I think we were only up to B. That was pretty amusing. The girls were amused, I was wondering if they’d TP’d me by accident and were too nice to admit it. After everyone had walked and we had managed to go through the alphabet with only one error, Minnu and Company took less than a minute to select the ones they would use for the show. I was already typing, “thanks for the opportunity. it was interesting to say the least and good for me to see what my girl goes through, so i can stop teasing her so much”, expecting not to get chosen. I figured I’d TP back to our sim, Doll City, and either go study for awhile or find some other way to amuse myself. No, that didn’t happen. They chose me and that’s when the confusion really set in.

Let me be frank about something. I know NOTHING about fashion. I know what I like to wear. /artilleri, Renegade, ::Form::, Gritty Kitty, Gear Shaft, Lucid, and that group comprises 80% of my clothes with a few things from Shai and Young Urban that Bho turned me onto. I don’t know the names of the big designers, unless they’re friends or rent shops on the sim (subliminal message #1: you want to shop on Doll City). Secondly, Bho took me to get my first Minnu skin awhile back before a lot of people had really caught on to how great the detail she puts into them are. She also took me to look at the skins at Abyss, which I really like, too. I’d been wearing my [ND] Dante skin forever before that with the custom faux hawk she’d made me and never bothered looking around. So, guys, listen to your ladies when they wanna take you shopping and introduce you to new things. It pays off and you learn something. Right now, I’ve been wearing the black shirt with white tie from Young Urban and the dark plaid pants from Canimal on and off for about two weeks now with my standards Converse knock-offs from SF. I never take my sneakers off, really. I knew even less about hair, too. Now, I have hair from Arimidi and Aveda and have finally grown accustomed to my avatar not looking like it had for about a year. Buddy Holly glasses from /artilleri. Tear drop tattoos that are prims that attach right to the face, but I forget where I got that from.

So, back to where I was at before. I have been selected as a Glamworld model for a show coming up on Saturday at 6:15pm SL time. There are two rehearsals that everyone has to be at or they’ll be cut. When the notice was sent out with the other models names, I honestly recognized maybe one or two names from events I played dutiful husband/boyfriend at and everyone else, I was clueless as to who they were. Once I got the Hud fixed, I wasn’t as nervous about doing it. What’s the worst thing that can happen? I can walk off the stage and land in someone’s lap. What better way to make a new friend than walk on top of them. I can laugh at just about anything and unlike what I’ve seen thus far in the modeling community, this isn’t something that I’m going to take incredibly serious or allow to stress me out. The wife’s the model and me, I’m just trying to stay busy to keep from spending all my money at Zyngo. It could turn out to be a lot of fun or I could decide that it isn’t for me. Either way, it’s something new to try.

The one thing that initially turned me off of modeling on SL when I was asked a few times to participate or get involved is the elitist attitude that goes along with it. It’s unfortunate, too, because there is more than enough on SL to go around for everyone. There’s no reason to be catty, talk about people behind their back, or re-enact scenes from the film, Heathers, on one another. Yet, when in social gatherings, everyone smiles and compliments one another. This, I can say for sure, is something that I want no part of. I don’t want to be SLFamous or SLPopular. I want to have fun, learn something new, make some money to cover the cost of owning a sim, and do it without having to drop names. I have friends that I’m sure could get me work, but what’s the point in doing that when it feels better doing it on my own?

Second whim. Bho custom built my shape, always makes sure I look good, etc. She suggested I message a few people to see if anyone has any openings for guys looking to model. I do that, not many get back to me, but Frolic Mills does. He asks me if I want to take part in the Worst Fashion Show Ever on Friday and judging by the name alone, that sounds perfect to me. Neither shows really interfere in my Wednesday night classes on-campus and I can still fit time into possibly take Bho out to Sonic or somewhere with really good pancakes, if either of us feel like leaving our houses. So, yesterday, I booked two shows and was added to two agencies (whether they are permanent spots or not, I don’t know) and I don’t have a lick of runway experience. Like I said, this should be interesting to say the least.

Next order of business.

A warm thank you goes out to everyone who has donated to the Baby Isaac Fund, written articles about it, allowed donation kiosks to be placed in your club/land/store/etc. I know that his mother, a RL friend on SL, definitely appreciates that. We’re talking about an infant child just going into his 7th month of life. His only way to improve is stem cell research, which as you all may know, hinges heavily on a Democrat being elected as President this term. If a Republican is given office, chances are they will follow the Bush route and stem cell research will again go under the knife, so to speak. This isn’t a nameless, faceless charity. This is an actual friend and her son, who I have held, played with, and laid beside. He’s the cutest kid you’ll ever see and he needs help. If you own a RL business, please consider donating to help him or allow one of us to send you a flier to hang up in your place of business. Please contact in-world Pinkstarz Destiny for more information on how to donate. A bank account has been set-up, everything is legit, and all we are trying to do is give the kid a fighting chance at life.

I was considering approaching my editor at freelifemagazine.com to do an official interview with the winner of the 12Avatars.com competition, Babyhoney Bailey, but figured it would be a conflict of interests. Why, you may ask? When you read all the dipshits chiming in with their two cents about why she won or why she shouldn’t have won, ignore it and come right here. Considering I have known her for at least five years now and long before I invited her to join SL to chill, my ego says I’m a better authority on her than the bloggers out there that like to post slanderous pieces on how she cheated to win. She has her faults and flaws, as everyone does. She is in no way perfect. However, she did not have to cheat, bribe or have anyone create alts for her to win the 12Avatars competition.

When she first told me that she was going to enter, I told her immediately that she would win. Why? Am I psychic? No, I just know her and I know that anywhere she goes, total strangers will walk up to her to talk to her and she treats them with the same respect that she treats people she’s known for a long time. She’s approachable and people dig that about her. She’s honest, hard-working (major understatement), loyal, responsible, dependable, pretty fucking gorgeous, and also a great friend to everyone who knows her. Okay, I’ll lay out why so many people voted for her.

1. Unofficial manager at me and Elle Kirshner’s club: Hooters ‘n Shooters, as well as dancer and she actually redesigned the interior and exterior to make it look as slick as she does.

2. Co-owner of The Mandarin Theater: burlesque theater, where the dancers are modeled after Hollywood actesses from the 1920s-1940s, as well as a dancer.

3. Co-owner of the sim both clubs are on with Elle and I. It’s still named Fur Liberty, as the ticket hasn’t been processed yet to rename it officially to Doll City.

4. Co-owner of iDentity with Kalia Meiklejohn. They perform make-overs and personal shopping.

5. C-owner of M&B Furniture, where she and Kalia create original retro and vintage furniture, as well as club equipment, such as the dancing martini glasses featured in The Mandarin.

6. Owner of Doll City Jewelry. She designs and creates her own jewelry.

7. Currently has a photo exhibit running on the Glam World sim. Is also working on several photo shoots through Bhotography, her own photo studio.

8. She is actually in school as a hair stylist and had a large number of actual friends and classmates sign up, because as hair stylists, the idea and concept of making clothes and hair appeals to them.

9. With and without iDentity, she does charity work of helping to give make-overs to noobs and find them work in their field of choice, then they set up a payment plan to pay her back over time. Gee, I wish someone had done that for me when I was stuck at Musk or had that blue mohawk.

10. On our sim, we have a number of high profile designers, such as Kimberly Casanova (mad props for building The Mandarin!), House of Nyla, Ina Centaur, Ingenue, Random by Garbage Prototype, and many others.

11. She is a model with MAD Agency and in demand long before the damn contest started.

12. She is so well-respected by the people that she knows that when friends would come into vote, they would also TP in between 2-10 friends of their own to vote for her.

You can choose to think what you want, but I have no reason to lie. As for allegations that she “camped” in front of her entry, there was nothing in the rules against it and anyway, three-quarters of the time she wasn’t even there. She was either on the phone with me, fell asleep or at school. Plus, considering how many people were coming out to vote for her, either she or one of our various friends wanted to be there to thank them personally and TP them out of the water, if they fell through the floor. Say what you want about how the competition ran, that it was boohoo unfair or whatever else sore losers usually do, but her strength of character is beyond reproach in this matter.

While there, I watched girls turn from being perfectly nice and good sports into catty bitches and anyone who knows me, knows I don’t throw “bitch” around lightly. I believe in treating ladies with respect and decency, but there was quite a bit of shady shit going down. Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and like to use them. However, when it comes to Babyhoney winning the competition, there is nothing shady about that. If you don’t believe me, take five minutes out of your SL life to actually talk to her and you will see what a beautiful woman she truly is inside and out. 

If you’re pissed that she won and you didn’t, I offer therapy sessions at 100L an hour. Contact me in-world for a free consultation. 

 

HOT:

- As co-owner of the joint, I’m obliged to point out two things. 1. Cash$! - Home of Luck & Grace: Ithys (156, 100, 46) is being renamed to The Mandarin and that’s just in time for numero dos. 2. The grand opening is set for this Friday, 8/24 at 2-4pm SL time. Dig this? I know there’s Pin Ups out there and they’ve got a nice enough joint (little cluttered for my tastes, but that’s just me), but The Mandarin is it’s own entity and that’s mainly from the creativity and brilliance of Babyhoney Bailey (who also co-owns M&B Furniture). What we’ve got here is an actual original idea. Every dancer is modeled after a golden screen queen, such as Jean Harlowe, Bette Davis, Rita Hayworth, Marilyn Monroe, Veronica Lake, etc. From the hair to the shape to the skin to the mannerisms. It’s uncanny. Sure, we’re gonna bang out the sickest in rockabilly sounds, but dig this - big band, swing, smooth jazz, and true period music. No rap, no metal, no emo dipshits with their hair in their face music at all. Also, 99% of the lay-out of the burlesque house was all handmade by either Babyhoney Bailey or Kimberly Casanova and only a few things here and there were actually purchased (like tip jars, dance balls and the dance boxes). The martini glasses that you see those lovely ladies dancing in were made by Babyhoney and are on sale in M&B right now. Word to the wise: this is not a stripclub, so don’t swagger in and expect to see the ladies doing the dirty on the stage. It’s going to be dripping with so much class that not only do you walk away with a limp, but you also grin like a mofo and have a great time, as well as learn a little something about the era that The Mandarin is living in. So, head on out and check it out Friday afternoon. Hit me up inword at Bongo Oldbull for a VIP tag and a TP into the shindig.

- How many shape stores are there out there right now that all resell the same shapes? 30? 40? 87665? Yeah, the latter is about closer. They’re all the same, though, with very few differences and when you get them on, they don’t always gel with the skin that you’ve got on. That means you have to dart back out to either find another skin or buy another damn shape. Yes, my friends, there is a better solution. Check out BODMOD - Shapes by Kalia at Ithys (154, 178, 47). This chica is high demand from the major designers to get her expertise on their team, but skip the middle man and go straight to the source herself. Not only are they superior to the ones you see everyone and their ma, pa, brother, sister, mailman, milk maid wearing, but they’re a hell of a lot cheaper. Personally, I’ve spent a small fortune on shapes and then skins, trying to match them up with the shape I just laid down 4000L for. It gets old fast and really, who’s got that kind of cash to blow? I don’t. I gots bills to pay. Save yourself a lot of time and trouble and check out BODMOD. She’s setting up shop now on her own, so keep stopping into peep on what new shapes she has out.

- Education. I was paging through all the classes available in-world the other night and was surprised at the variety of what’s currently being offered. Did you know you can take a course on how to be a Hare Krishna? That’s so rich that not even I could make it up. One thing that I really dig is organizations, such as Radcliffe University, who host an entire curriculum on scripting and building for those of us that were mildly bent over the table by the gambling ban and are looking for additional ways to make bank. I’m currently working on building my first house and using my knowledge of AutoCAD and Maya just isn’t enough on SL, due to angles and looking through the eyes of an avatar, rather than being able to manipulate the angles on my screen like I’m accustomed to. You can take classes on how to build just about anything you can think of, including homes, clothing, jewelry, and whatever the hell “sculpties” are. They’re laid out in a similar fashion to college courses, too, which makes it a lot easier. You can start with a 101 building class and work your way up through to 105 and learn as you go through an instructor, as well as tutorials that you are provided with. It’s right up there with taking a college course online, which is something that I do every chance that I get, just to be able to work at my own pace without some Scotch-breathed professor looking over my shoulder every five minutes. I definitely recommend people checking some of these classes out. If nothing else, instead of running out and buying something, you can save some dough by building it yourself and down the road, opening your own store. Shameless Plug: we still have a couple shops open to rent in the Hooters ‘n Shooters complex at Ithys (173, 171, 46).

NOT HOT:

- How many modeling agencies are out there, charging fees, demanding exclusivity of their talent and don’t even land them work? If they do square a deal, is anyone but the agency owners getting paid for it? Seriously, no. A new one opens everyday. I don’t get it. People have put a lot of time and money into perfecting their avatars and there are hundreds of clothing stores out there, so what’s with the no work, people? Why not strike a deal with one of those 1000 stores and hold a fashion show? Toss some cash to the talent, the store gets massive exposure, and everyone’s happy. It’s bordering on bullshit to have people sign up with an agency, then not give them anything back in return for their time, money and effort.

- Voice chat in clubs during events. I co-own two hot spots and let me tell you, it’s a serious butt itch to be there during an event with the DJ rockin’ the pad and have the sound of people laughing or rambling on about their fucking laundry blowing out over the sound of the tunes. I love to have a good time and talk shit as much as the next person, but what I’m not digging on is having to change my preferences every night to be able to hear the music and DJ. They make group IMs for that or individual calls for this shit, so why not use that and save everyone around you the aggro of having to hear you ramble on about nothing? Shameless plug: Hooters ‘n Shooters: Ithys (223, 189, 55).

- Since the powers that be did away with gambling, that caused a huge circle jerk among the banks. The second they posted about it, all the folks that made bank at playing poker (RIP Juggernaut and Scores) withdrew all their cash, which fucked the banks, since a lot of them had been using our money to invest elsewhere in-world. So, those of us who didn’t withdraw were left with a boot up our asses when we can’t touch what we’ve deposited. The Lindens sure as hell profitted from that, since those of us with accounts that don’t carry a lot of money on us in-world had to start buying money again. Don’t get me started on the exchange rate either, because I’ll be here all day and nobody wants that.

- Sexual depravity on SL. I have seen some truly strange shit in my time on Second Life and one thing that never fails to amaze me in the least positive way possible is the way people treat others at times. If you stroll into the club down the street from your digs, do you walk up to the dancer and whisper in her ear that you want to nail her like a 2×4? If you have any good sense and tact, you sure as hell don’t. Yet, there is at least one good a night minimum in every club on SL that thinks it’s perfectly alright to do that to the ladies. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know the ladies do it, too. However, they’re at least softer about it and more times than not, less graphic. Though, there was this one time…. nevermind. Ha. I think that at some point people forget that there is an actual person on the other side of that sexy, hard-bodied avatar on their screen and that gee, maybe they’re going to be offended when they’re messaged and in some cases, have *asterisks* literally thrust at them in extremely lewd ways. I realize that when someone signs up to be a dancer on SL, they’re probably digging on the attention. Come on, though, use a little common sense. They’re flirting for the lindens and not to get you off. Go hang out at one of the sex ball shops, if you’re into sexually harrassing people. Personally, I have no problem using the eject and ban functions at my clubs when I see it happening. Granted, some of these guys need to seriously get laid and most likely have the social skills of a lepar, but that’s no excuse for acting like tools. The next time you open an IM to a dancer in a club, keep this in mind: what would you do if your ma, sister, neice, grandmother, wife, daughter, etc signed up for SL and landed a gig dancing somewhere and someone messaged them with what you’re about to type to that dancer? You’d flip your shit, right? Ironically, I did a little impromptu study from personal obeservations and a majority of the offenders tend to either be teenagers and dudes in the 40+ category. That means someone’s father or grandfather is out there trying to get cyber sex and some chick just wants to make some linden, then go shopping. Isn’t that why there are escorts on SL? Go talk to the escorts, guys. Save me the trouble of ejecting and banning you.